Assessing Faculties & Finances

While not every aging person loses mental capacity, it is imperative to assess where your loved one stands mentally. Our grandmother suffered from dementia and our mom suffered from more of an acute, early on-set of dementia that was exacerbated by multiple rounds of chemotherapy and radiation. They both had good days and bad, so we had to chose our timing appropriately. No matter your particular situation, it's never an easy conversation to have. Remember, your loved one may not always be aware that their faculties are declining.

At the time, due to our mom beginning her battle with lung cancer, we focused more on assessing out mother's faculties. She was having a hard time recalling the past and most days, she couldn't tell you what day it was or who was president. We determined that we would need to put in place a Medical Power of Attorney, so if her memory began to slip, we would be able to advocate for her care.

While spending time with our mom at her house, we began to see the mail that she was receiving. Unbeknownst to us, she had a crippling amount of debt and had stopped making payments at some point. Amber then began assessing finances. It was during that process that we found out my mom was not on Medicaid even thought she had been eligible for almost 5 years. Luckily, our mother has decent insures, but here we were watching her medical bills roll in while undergoing cancer treatment, and we could have also had the financial assistance of Medicaid. We then began to tackle the task of enrolling her in Medicare. We strongly urge you talk with your loved one. Ask the hard questions, like "have you enrolled in all the healthcare benefits you're eligible for? Have you been paying your bills, mortgage/rent, utilities, vehicle payments, insurance payments, credit card bills?" Ask to see statements, bills, collections, and income statements. You may need to get involved if your loved one is not making monthly finances a priority. Let your loved one know that you are there to help and there is no shame in asking for help if it's warranted.